Eating together – a dietitian’s responsibility? with guest expert Nabeelah Khan APD
Expert Examiner, Family Focus, Nutrition News — By Emma Stirling on July 28, 2010 at 3:37 pmClean your plate. You MUST eat your broccoli. No dessert unless dinner. No Tv on. Did you grow up with a defined set of meal rules, guidelines or unwritten expectations? Did they help or hinder you becoming a healthy, balanced adult eater? Are you passing these “rules” on or have you changed your parenting style? And more importantly, would you be open to expert advice in this area? This week Accredited Practising Dietitian, Nabeelah Khan shares some latest research and raises the important issue of family meals.
Nabeelah Khan is a dietitian (APD) and qualified journalist who believes simple, good quality, whole food, made with local ingredients is best enjoyed with family and friends. You can follow her on Twitter
Food, glorious food
I’ve always had a great relationship with food – inspired entirely by my parents who, for as long as I can remember have always had a vegetable garden, cooked almost every meal we ate as kids from scratch and had a wicked sense of adventure when experimenting with unusual ingredients and flavours.
Like most people, I think my Mum is the best cook in the world. The way she takes all day to shop for each item on her list and blends her own spices from scratch to ensure each meal is made with the specific aim to honour the ingredients, fills my heart.
For her, feeding her family is an act of love – not only for the people it will nourish but also for the ingredients that have been combined in delicate synergy to ensure every flavour has its moment in the spotlight.
Though, for many years I thought it was what she put on the table that gave me my appreciation for good food. But new research published in the July issue of Journal of American Dietetic Association says that perhaps how we ate also played an important role.

Were your parents too strict with family meals?
It didn’t seem very important at the time, but when we were all living under the same roof, we always ate together at the dinner table and we never ate in front of the television. We knew that it would take an event of Krakatoic proportions for Mum to let us park our bottoms along-side the box. It was the simply the way it was and my brother and I knew these were the rules.
The research, conducted at the University of Minnesota, found that an authoritative parenting style that was empathetic and respectful, but still maintained clear boundaries and expectations resulted in greater frequency of meals eaten together. And, we know from previous studies that when families eat together they are more likely to eat fruits and vegetables, have lower levels of yo-yo dieting and experience better psychosocial health.
So, what does this mean for dietitians? Well, it got me thinking. If we know that eating as a family improves nutrition and other elements of health but what is required from parents are clear boundaries around meal time, where the food is eaten and how – should this be a part of nutrition counselling or our community health messages? It’s a tough question because it’s looking at the area of parenting rather than our core area of expertise: nutrition.
Some may argue that it’s not a dietitian’s role to reinforce parenting style. But if we don’t do it – who will?
Editor’s note:
Thanks Nabeelah, I often have discussions with my girlfriends about parenting styles. One believes modern day parents have become better negotiators than top lawyers in our bid to stay best friends with our children. “Just say no”, she tells me and there’s no need for an explanation. But when it comes to family meals I’m the enforcer and a stickler for no TV and good manners. But I don’t bribe with foods or force feed, rather focus on the eating occasion. After years working in paediatrics and experience of children with special needs that have food adversions and distorted sensory perceptions of food, I’m adamant that individual approaches are needed. And there are already some amazing dietitians working successfully with families in this area, along with speech pathologists and others too. So, yes I believe that dietitians should guide on how to eat, not just what to eat. How about you? Love to hear your thoughts, childhood horror or hero stories and current approaches in our comments below.


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5 Comments
You raise a very good point about parenting style and its effect on developing eating habits. I will add though that children are affected by the style(s) of both parents, not just one or the other. Although Moms play a prominent role in preparing meals and feeding kids, Dads are getting increasingly involved. Even if the two have different parenting styles – and most likely they do – it is important to have a good understanding of these differences so children are not left confused at the dinner table. I wrote about this topic a while back. Take a look at it, I would love to hear your perspective.
http://www.littlestomaks.com/2008/12/what-is-your-parenting-style-and-whats-that-got-to-do-with-toddler-nutrition/
I definitely think parenting style affects how successful you are with family dinner and how well you deal with food issues with your kids. Dietitians need to be at least aware of these family dynamics. The study describes “authoritative” parents as the ones best suited to make family dinners happen. These parents still set rules and are not “permissive” letting anything goes. Good point that parents may differ in style; I think the family table is a great place to show kids that these differences can be worked out in order to enjoy family time at dinner.
Thank you both for your comments, and I absolutely agree that it’s a tough gig trying to find the balance between parenting styles – as mum can have a totally different style of parenting to dad. In my family, I was lucky that mum usually enforced and dad backed her up. It was difficult to distinguish who was the good cop and who was the bad. They both had a fair share of being both. I think it’s essential for parents to know each others style and concentrate on working on their strengths.
You raise a wonderful point about the role of dads at meal times and they are just as important as mums. Dietitians can highlight that there are certain parenting styles that work better than others when it comes time to negotiating meal times and provide some strategies on sharing this responsibility. There is no doubt that routine and boundaries are key.
It is important that both mom and dad agree on one parenting style so that the children will not be confused as to who to follow. And yes, eating together during every meal is important. In that way, you can build your relationship with your children as well as monitor what they are eating.
I definitely think parenting style affects how successful you are with family dinner and how well you deal with food issues with your kids. Dietitians need to be at least aware of these family dynamics. The study describes “authoritative” parents as the ones best suited to make family dinners happen. These parents still set rules and are not “permissive” letting anything goes. Good point that parents may differ in style; I think the family table is a great place to show kids that these differences can be worked out in order to enjoy family time at dinner.